“I’ve been burned to many times from the guys in my past. And when I find somebody new they don’t ever last. And every night I’m wishing, hoping that they’re only getting closer cause I, Oh I, wanna know you want to find you”
- MonicaMyLife, Anything (To Find You), New Life
Nowadays, it seems like everybody is willing to do any and everything to be in love. If that means growing a ENTIRE new head, stuffing their panties with couch cushions or taking penis enhancement pills, they’ll do it if it equates to “love”. Some women will move strangers into their homes expecting them to be a fathers to their children. Some men will marry women just because their PARENTS approved of them, yet, cheat on them the duration of the marriage. Oh, and let’s not forget about the gay man/woman that is ALWAYS willing relocated 1500 miles only after knowing their partner 2 weeks.
Unfortunetly, this behavior isn’t new to society and has been boiling under a cast iron pot for years. I was once told that when people “FALL in love” most tend to lose sight of common sense and the older I get, the more I find truth in that accusation. I often wonder, why do we sometime forget our primary focus when we’re in relationships? Why can’t we get the neccessary shit accomplished?
I remember being in what I THOUGHT was love. Nothing in the world mattered as long as my ‘boo-thang’ was sleeping next to me. During that time, I could care less about getting up and going to class in the morning. I didn’t care about finding a job that not only paid the bills but left extra for liesure. I was comfortable laying in the bed, sleeping, having sex and giving two-fucks about the people around us. Hell, we thought we were WINNING. After all, we had what most people wanted; love, contentment and the ultimate sacrifice.
The ‘ultimate sacrifice’ can be the fuel that catapults your success or the dynamite that destroys your mental, physical and spiritual awareness to the things that matter. Parents, the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ could make your children despise you because you put someone other than their biological parent first. Ladies, making the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ to change your physical appearence only makes people fall in love with the IMAGE you’re reflecting. Pretending to have the personality you THINK your mate is seeking only makes you look and sound like a fool. Most importantly, trying to love in order to gain approval from someone other than self is usually doomed for disaster.
Most of us dwell in focusing on
fuck-shit the wrong thing. Instead of putting our education, careers or families in the forefront, we’d rather add dysfunction to the equation. Now unlike MonicaMyLife, I will not do ANYTHING to find you. I’ve placed limits on how I issue out my love coupons which can be voided at anytime. Sometimes doing anything, leaves you with absolutely nothing and though ”everybody needs love” (J-Hud voice) it doesnt neccessairly mean it has to be found in someone else. Do something different this time around, find love within self.
Self discovery is an adventure that could enhance your life more than anything or any person. You don’t need a man/woman in order to succeed and you don’t need to push your dreams aside in order to focus on the depths of “US”. All you need is YOU and changing the dynamic of self typically comes with consequences. Think twice the next time you consider ‘evolving’ because there is no better investment than self-investing.
“Maybe we oughta think twice, before we start something nice. No need to sacrifice the spice in our life ohhh,”
- Erykah Badu, Think Twice, Worldwide Underground Album